STOCKHOLM—Lauding the man as one of the greatest minds working in medicine today, the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences reportedly awarded 54-year-old Facebook user Darren Weston the Nobel Prize Monday for his own extensive internet research into the dangers of Covid vaccinations. “We are proud to announce that the 2023 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine will be awarded to insurance broker and Findlay, OH resident Darren Weston for his astounding discoveries that vaccines don’t work and will kill you,” said Thomas Perlmann, secretary of the Nobel Committee, who congratulated Weston on his dozens of hours of hard work trawling Google search results and anonymous internet forums for evidence that only a crazy person would stick one of those things in their arms. “Without his dedication to advancing scientific research, there would be hundreds of Facebook users who still had no idea that the vaccine is both poison and a scam. He managed to do all this while overcoming countless obstacles, such as the gauntlet of criticism from his sister-in-law and 18-year-old nephew. Mr. Weston is also responsible for being the first person to discover that vaccines cause autism.” At press time, Weston rejected the prize on account of it being linked to globalism.